Reflections on my first day

Post 10/30/07

Last night, I walked through my home forest. The waning moon was revealed by the clouds and bright enough to light my path. At Seven Sisters, my mother tree, I left a spiral of quarts/tourmaline matrix rocks I found in Southern California with my uncle. I knelt in front of the spiral and asked my forest for a guiding intention for my journey. I heard a simple and profound command: “Respect all life.” As I hugged my mother goodbye, I heard an owl's call, immediate and soothing, from behind me. I remembered what I wrote in my journal just a few days ago, that Owl's wisdom comes from silent watching and listening. So now, as I sit cramped on a plane over a shocking expanse of water and clouds, I meditate: I am going to these islands with the intentions of respect and honor. I know I have much listening to do before I may begin to talk, to teach. I want to hear the voice of the native Hawaiians themselves, in their language. I am committed to unlearning the Western/white version of Hawaii's history and culture. I want to give the Hawaiians the respect and honor they deserve by listening directly to them and letting go of any stereotypes or generalizations I have been taught. I will also demonstrate my respect by learning the language as much as I can while I'm there.

I am reading Haunani-Kay Trask's book From a Native Daughter as we fly. Her passion and indignation (that is an understatement) reaches me powerfully even from the typed pages. I am already surrounded and inundated with the commercialization of the Hawaiian culture, and I am intent on remaining aware and critical of the effects of colonization that Haunani-Kay has described. Even before the beverage cart was set in motion, a cart full of 'souvenir' snack packs and other Hawaiian Air trinkets was offered. In the magazine, t-shirts are offered that say, “Proud to be Hawaiian Airlines.” The videos that constantly play on the monitor focus on the activities available to tourists, like snorkeling, surfing, sailing, etc. I also see a segment that describes a canoe journey undertaken by some Natives and some non-Natives. I remember that a woman I met at the Nisqually reservation said she has ancestors from Hawaii and her grandmother makes an appearance in one of the Hawaiian Air films about Native Hawaiian culture.

Throughout all of my critical awareness, I want to be sure to remain non-judgmental. I am here to observe and record, and I will be careful to keep my own prejudices, biases and assumptions from coloring my writing. However, when I see a truth, I will name it. When I see cultural appropriation, I will describe it. When I see an inaccurate Western perception taking precedence over the authentic Native perspective, I will point it out. When I see lies being taught, I will replace them with the truth. And when I see children being devalued for whatever reason, I will stop it.

Now I'm in Honolulu, sitting in the sun at my new friend Denise's house. After waiting for my bags, which never showed up, she met me at the airport, leid me with a gorgeous, heavy, heavenly-scented lei and took me straight to the beach. We stood in the water and she described all the important ways that life in Hawaii is different from anything I've lived so far. The water is so warm! She taught me that flip flops are slippers and the people are friendly all the time. Men don't “hit on” women, she tells me, unless they're obnoxious tourists. No one asks you what you do for a living, because no one cares! She's convinced the magic of Hawaii will seep into me and soon, I won't ever want to leave. (I'm curious to see if that's going to be true about me, because right now I feel my roots in Olympia so powerfully. Watching the mainland disappear behind me as we headed out over ocean, ocean, ocean, was a curious sensation. I have left so much behind.)

In the last week, I felt my level of planning and organizing dwindle distinctly. I stopped making phone calls to Kauai schools and really focused on day to day presence. I read an article about patience and realized that all my planning was really my impatience funneled into something that looked productive on the outside. Now that I'm here in the sunshine, I'm realizing how dramatic this shedding process really is. I have left behind my home, my belongings, my car, my lover, my friends, my babies ( I love you Lambs!), my school, my favorite forest... I have cultivated my roots so carefully and now I've left them 2,000+ miles behind. I grew a beautiful skin, and now I've shed it to grow into this new life. I have no idea what's in front of me on this journey but I'm here and I'm ready!

This afternoon, I walked down to the beach nearest the house and watched the bodysurfers. I wandered around Waikiki and met some protesters outside the Pacific Beach Hotel. They were dressed in scary halloween masks and were holding signs that said, “Tricked and misTreated.” I stopped and talked to Todd, one of the protesters. He said that many of the employees were notified in August that the hotel would be changing owners and that they would be laid off on December 1. Some of these employees had worked at the Pacific Beach Hotel for as long as 30 years. They were members of a union and had been negotiating with their employer for 4 years, asking for as little as a $.75 raise. The hotel had denied every one of their requests, and then finally told them they'd be losing their jobs in December. Todd gave me a flyer that had the Vice President's phone number, so I called. His secretary said he was in a meeting, so I asked her to let him know that I'd been speaking with the protesters and I nor my friends would patronize his hotel until he gave them back their jobs and worked with the union to pay them fairly. She said she wasn't aware of any protesters, so I recommended she take a walk outside and see for herself. Then I thanked her and hung up. I don't know if she actually told the VP or not, but regardless, I felt like I did what I could to support the protesters.

Next, I went back to the beach to watch my first Hawaiian sunset. The color of the water and the sunlight reflecting off the waves and the silhouettes of the sailboats along the horizon created a beautiful vision. I am definitely in “paradise” but I know Hawaii is more complex than any pretty sunset and I'm so excited to be here.